Megan + James. Wedding. Monte Rio.

These are a few photos of Megan and James that I took last month while second shooting for Alison Bank of First Comes Love Wedding Photography. While processing the files, I was reminiscing on how I landed here, in this moment. 

The question that kept creeping up was - will self discovery be a constant quest? My answer is an astounding, "Yes." Last year at this time, I had been out of the 9 to 5 task force for three months determined to be my own boss as a portrait photographer and to work hard for myself from a home office equipped with two cats, a Nikon D80, a very old iMac, and enough savings to get me through six months. If you're cringing here, you understand how crazy I was! Sure, I proved that I was a hard worker. As a photo producer I managed two to three week commercial print shoots on location managing 100+ models and creative staff making sure everyone was happy. I enjoyed what I did (because the bigger the fire the better I perform), but I also felt a constant nagging to be behind the camera as I was trained to do oh-so-many- years-ago. 

This is what I'm learning about my path to self discovery:

1. I wasn't ready to be a business owner until now. I had other big ticket items that needed my attention both financially and personally. So, a steady paycheck was really important to me. I'm glad for my past and excited about the present.

2. Humility is the foundation for growth. This doesn't mean humiliation, putting my head in the sand, oh-always-me. To the contrary, it means that by being truthful with myself, I can recognize I don't know it all, more will be revealed. I have to keep an open heart, no matter how painful the lessons are.

3. It's more scary to not take a risk. If I sit here and do nothing to pursue my dreams, I'll gain nothing. If I sit here and make an effort to reach out to others, do something different, invest in my business, then something will happen. Good or bad. Shifts will take place and again, more will be revealed. 

4. I may take good photos, but that doesn't mean I'm an excellent photographer! Consistency and wisdom come with continual and constant practice, thoughtfulness and a game plan. I'm learning this lesson by shooting for Alison.

5. What I thought I should be isn't what I am. Going through a four year photography program at RIT set me up to work in the commercial industry which is what I did, but the only rewarding aspect of my job was the relationships I made on set, not the creative work we did. I don't regret it, because I learned alot and made a great income. Only, when I'm done shooting a wedding, not only am I stoked about hanging out with Alison, but we're dancing and singing on the way back to our car at the end of the night. And I've just help create images that are going to last for generations, not be tossed in the recycling bin. This is the biggest piece to my puzzle and one of the values that is the foundation for my business.

And with all that said, I experimented with the post processing of these photos… again, took some risks, played a little, and had some fun. 

Happy Monday!