Bring It, 2015!!

Wow! Can life get messy?! 2014 was such a challenging year. It's hard for me to admit defeat, but I'm pretty sure I was held down for the count somewhere in the days and hours that we transversed this last orbit around the sun. BUT! There was also a surplus of goodness that filled my days this year, too. Here's a little recap. But before we dive in, here's my favorite photo from 2014. xo

Teresa looks so coy and feminine in this photo. I love the curves of her shoulders and the delicate smile on her face. 

Let's start with some of the tough stuff, shall we?

- My dad passed away in April. We hadn't spoken for three years. Although, I did write to him often, I fear I'll never fully be at peace with my decision to keep the distance between us.
- My brother pulled some major schemes that had me ripping my hair out. (I'm his legal guardian and he's 15.)
- We experienced the worst move ever. Like, really, ever. ever. ever. Mind numbingly horrible.
- A family circumstance has left me on my knees. I thought the worse thing that could happen would be what I listed in No. 1, but God has other ideas.

At one point, due to all of this, I was curled up in the fetal position on my bedroom floor sobbing. Haven't had a moment like that in decades. This year was about feeling broken and raw and getting it all done despite the pain, confusion, and absolute mess that I was in. A lot of prayers were said, and I have to say, by Grace alone, this year turned out to be abundant in more ways than one. 

Now, for some of the good stuff:
- My dad passed away a week before Easter, and we held his services just after Easter Sunday. My brother, his son, came to live with me 2.5 years prior. The sacrifice my father made in accepting that my brother was here with us is beyond my comprehension, and I don't even have children of my own. He knew that Shane needed safety, security, and peace, and he selflessly let him go despite how crazy in love he was with my brother. The point is, saying good-bye to him during the Easter holiday reminds me of God's immense love for us in sacrificing his son. That was so comforting and timely.
- Those schemes that my brother was up to - and had been up to the whole time he's been with us - they've melted away. He's maturing, making amazing friendships, enjoying extra curricular activities like cross country, track, and being an explorer cadet for the MPPD. His schedule is far busier than mine, and he's risen above his heartache like no one I've ever known. So very proud of him.
- One small aspect that made our move tough was downsizing. Little did I realize, it would mean more quality time with family. We can't really escape each other any more. Ironically, it's bringing us all closer. I like it.
- The upside to number 4 above is that I'm relying more and more on my Higher Power.
- My work was published in Today's Bride and on Magnolia Rouge.
- I worked with some top notch wedding planners.
- I shot a wedding in Sorrento, Italy!
- I vacationed along the Amalfi Coast.
- I collaborated with some terrific vendors on styled shoots.
- More work is slated to be published this year. Stay tuned!
- I hosted a birthday party for my 97 year old grandmother. The whole family was there, and we had a great time catching up. (Headed back to celebrate her 98th in two weeks!)
- Elisa Bunell came into my life! She's my amazingly fabulous new hairdresser. I swear, a good hair cut and color can make a girl feel so much better! She uses the balayage technique. Will never go back to foil highlights again.
- Through it all, I've fallen more in love with my incredible husband. He is such a gift and a treasure. I adore him with all of my heart. He was patient with me when I was a wreck, supportive of me when I needed a push, and made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry. God, I love him. 

Here is to another year of ups and downs and all the goodness, love and support that will fill our lives along the way! xo

God Grant Me the Courage

The road from Sorrento to Positano is narrow. It curves along the coast and hugs the mountainside as cars, trucks, buses and in our case, motor scooters squeeze past each other. I agreed to take the scooter, because Alessandro had been very patient with me during our last two days in Sorrento while I worked photographing Teresa and Stefano's engagement session and wedding. I knew taking the tour on the motor scooter would make him happy, and I was right. He was thrilled. I, on the other hand, had to muster up every ounce of courage and faith, because just about every five minutes we were bombarded by a bus coming straight at us!

That's about how I feel right now dealing with the reality of raising my fifteen year old brother. He's a great kid, and he's come along way since he moved in with us two years ago. If only he could let go of the lying and the scheming. To my exhaustion, this is a weekly routine of his. In one form or the other he fibs, omits truths or outright lies. Within the first month I was already at my wits end which drove me to a parenting workshop at his middle school. Today, I'm on my knees praying for God to grant me the wisdom, maturity and compassion to set a good example and to convey to him the right words that he needs to hear. 

How do you explain to a fifteen year old child that raising oneself from the depths of a challenging upbringing isn't about lying, cheating, stealing and forcing your will? It's about praying, accepting, and trusting in God's plan for you. I count my blessings every day forward and backward thanking God for all the various ways he's placed love in my life, but when it comes to managing the role of guiding this teenager into adulthood, I fear I'll fall short…. 

As they say in Italia, forza! Coraggio! Come on, you can do it! 

Cosette + Jager

I couldn't have been more excited when Jessica and Jason asked to book a family portrait session to celebrate the adoption of Cosette, their French Mastiff. Jager hasn't fully taken to her yet, but I'm hopeful in time he'll come around. xo 

Mindy + Erik | Styled Vow Renewal

I'm delighted to see Mindy and Erik's ten year wedding vow renewal featured today on Magnolia Rouge. This was a styled shoot collaboration with a wonderful team. This couple's story speaks to my heart. They are testimony to why I believe in the words of W. H. Murray: "Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help that would never otherwise occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way."

Venue: Kenwood Inn  www.kenwoodinn.com // Hair and Make up: Missy Lowe  www.missylowe.com // Flowers: The Monkey Flower Group  www.themonkeyflowergroup.com // Stationary: Little Miss Press  www.littlemisspress.com // Photographer: Sandra Fazzino Photography www.sandrafazzino.com // Couple: Mindy + Erik Aagaard // Desserts: Jill Kull  www.delish-designs.com // Day of Coordinator: Jill Kull/Dress: Cymbeline via Nouvelle Vogue  www.nvvdt.wordpress.com // Design: DIY by Sandra Fazzino + Mindy Aagaard

Repurposing Washi Tape

Recently, my dad passed away. I'm just starting to feel more myself, but while going through the motions, the thing that always helps me feel better when my world has been turned upside down is getting organized. It gives me a false sense of control. While putting various things in order throughout my home and office, I came up with a new system for tracking client bookings.

Since I'm a traditionalist in more ways than one, I can't seem to bring myself to track my calendar or production process electronically. I still walk around with a desk planner in my purse even though I know I could track everything via my phone. In any case, I collect washi tape and discovered a new way to put it to good use. What's nice about washi tape is it peels off easily. See below for how it's used to label folders and tape a production check list to the inside cover. This way, as jobs are completed, the information will move to one general 2014 folder making way for next year's client bookings. This isn't only cute but it's a great way to reuse and recycle!

Pix taken with my phone. No judging!

xo

Memorial Day 2014

Today is the first Memorial Day since our father's passing. He served in the Vietnam War from October 24th, 1966 to May 28th, 1969. To him, my grandfathers, uncles, family friends and to all the men and women in the military - thank you and God bless you. 

We love you, daddy. xo 

Feeling the Loss

So… it's been quiet on the blog… and there's a good reason. On April 13th, we lost my father to alcoholism. Our loss has hit me pretty hard, and it's been difficult to be social or even partake in social media of any kind. At first, I went into that very safe, comfortable mode of my Type A personality by orchestrating the funeral arrangements, planning the trip back east, and making all of the proper phone calls that need to be made. The support, comfort and condolences have been amazing - I couldn't ask for better family, friends or clients. Thank you to everyone for all the love you've poured on me and my family over these last several weeks. Now that I'm back from Connecticut and no longer in the safe cradle of my family's love and support, the sadness lingers. I'm most concerned about my fifteen year old brother. I've been his legal guardian for the last two years, because my dad's addiction became too much for him, so he courageously asked to come live with me and my husband. Unfortunately, his mom battles the same disease. I'm so grateful that he came to live with us when he did. This and many more strings of events have signaled to me that God does have a plan, and his plans are always good ones, but they don't exclude the pain or suffering. And so, as I mull through these feelings and trust faithfully in God's good plans, I'm quietly laying low and just wanted to put it out there how much I appreciate everyone's love and support. In fact, my clients have absolutely floored me with their sweet gestures. Thank you so much!!! I'm looking forward to feeling better soon. Love and hugs until then. xo